Ghost Story!!!

Life has been good, search or lack of something has been exciting. The one thing that I swore to stay as far away as possible, has not followed me but has been with me throughout the time. Realisation of this one thing that it will never be under control is sinking- sinking deeper with time, as I see the reflection of moonlight in the lake on the waves, as I see leaves land on earth with an amazingly captivating drift, as I grow older and younger….. And this too ended, ended with the tune of Ghost story…

"Ghost Story"

I watch the Western sky
The sun is sinking
The geese are flying South
It sets me thinking

I did not miss you much
I did not suffer
What did not kill me
Just made me tougher

I feel the winter come
His icy sinews
Now in the fire light
The case continues

Another night in court
The same old trial
The same old questions asked
The same denial

The shadows closely run
Like jury members
I look for answers in
The fire's embers

Why was I missing then
That whole December
I give my usual line:
I don't remember

Another winter comes
His icy fingers creep
Into these bones of mine
These memories never sleep

And all these differences
A cloak I borrow
We kept our distances
Why should it follow I must have loved you

What is the force that binds the stars
I wore this mask to hide my scars
What is the power that pulls the tide
I never could find a place to hide

What moves the Earth around the sun
What could I do but run and run and run
Afraid to love, afraid to fail
A mast without a sail

The moon's a fingernail and slowly sinking
Another day begins and now I'm thinking
That this indifference was my invention
When everything I did sought your attention

You were my compass star
You were my measure
You were a pirate's map
A buried treasure

If this was all correct
The last thing I'd expect
The prosecution rests
It's time that I confess: I must have loved you

Reasons

It’s been almost 7 months since I blogged. I can probably pen down numerous reasons as to why writing dint happen or like I love calling it inklink (yes! That’s rite n appropriate) dint happen. But sometimes reasons don’t sound reasonable, reasons cant makeup for the heart wrenching pain, reasons can’t fill the void that a combination of time and pain has created they are just a way to console self or others. (or something that helps one live in self denial of truth )
Something like telling
A loser “winning is not everything”
Your X “I dint mean to hurt you, but you deserve someone better”
A human “friends don’t mean a thing”
Anyone “I don’t really know”
Well reasons don’t actually give hope, most are down rite lies and few are hopeful sentences. But most demand for it though they genuinely know that reason that’s going to pop out will be genuinely lame or the story will be a genuine lie shouting rite on your face and introducing itself as “Hello, I am lie don’t waste your leftover precious time pondering over me, MOVE ON”

Clock of cowardice
Mermaid eyes
Sugar I wear

Throwing a dice
Dewy eyes, a
Reason I swear

Ray to hypnotize
Shall be cast,
Move on if you dare

Earning without working ain't a art!

Leader and P.S.U
Back in 1990's I used to hear from one of my neighbor very frequently –almost every other evening-”life cant get any better” (I dont get to hear this not bcoz my neighbor started workin in different place or the org. he was working realised that something disastrous was happening but just bcoz he is no more my neighbor)well I dint understand much about this statement he used to make so one day I went ahead to ask him what did he mean then I got a reply which almost made sure my career goal was based on this … “don’t you see dear, I get paid for doing nothing other than waking up early in the morning traveling to the office by company bus(free) and shifts change once in every 15 days, ,and yeah how can I forget almost (price was so low) free food, all that am expected to do is just stay there from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. i.e., only attendance matters …No assignment, no work just time to relax(relaxation time ?!? for doing nothing??) ”…There came a wish- I too want to be paid for doing nothing ,one day…. Well as I’ve reached that state now… am not gonna crib about it. No am not a employee of a P.S.U. and timing is also different in my case...Stigma that adheres to P.S.U in India happened not just because few of its employees left their office every evening to spread such narrow and strong news. Growth of theses undertakings…. Should I talk about it… everyone knows about the loses associated I guess…

Had Nehru seen this coming? Don’t think either he or his country-wide-hopeful-ardent believers/supporters had even an iota of doubt about the success of his vision.(Great vision without, can say, proper implementation ).Nope am not a saffron supporter either. All I say is it played a major role in holding back My country’s growth unlike what happened in China(our competitior ,can I say that …hmmm…may b yes…or may b no) decades back.Yeah I have been referring to license raj, PSU’s and such polices or undertakings.

This opinion that I have been carrying since almost quarter a century, refuses to change but I, like every modest and hopeful Indian still hope that within half a century from now I would witness the change. At least - Once in lifetime ;)

This is one of the very few opinions that I wish gets negated as soon as possible. I would like myself to say one day--- “holds no more”.

Nehru definately was a great leader India has ever had but when rulers commit mistakes we have seen what happens..

Earning without working ain’t a art!

World lost for a Wish!

Hoping to rest, laying hope to rest
Intoxicating looks, dissecting memories
Long sighs, longing induced grief
First lovely sight, heart slitting split
Beatific smile, forlorn eyes
Warm hands, frozen looks
Moments of closeness, years of indifference
Chosen Daydreams, inexplicable nightmares
Hollow words, earsplitting silence
Blue sky, grey life
Trying to exist, failing to live
Failing to wish, wishing to fail
Crafting one world, destroying all hopes
World lost to one last word-war.

For that moment and glee

Those heavenly stares
Wishful, loud and shy
Pierced through my eyes
And blinded my soul

Reigning passion preceded
Unhidden blushes
Beatific smile preceded
Looming beatitude

Those long but simple
And longed for, walks
Sometimes sun drenched
Sometimes rain sluiced

Built my hopes under the
Soft shadows you cast
Lighted by the words that
Materialized in your eyes

Dinned by blithesome talk,
Cherubic expression,
Mocking version,
I went chasing rainbows

Veil that once vanished
Listening to the unsaid words
Promising silence
Bound me to hope!

Immortality Graph!!!!!!!!!!!

Changes take place, for good or bad, but it does happen even when we are in a temporary state of death (sleep : )) fortunately or unfortunately it’s a constant. Sometimes its dynamism would make us fall to knees praying for it to not show its very behavior (though we understand very well that nothings gonna stop it) and sometimes we pray for it to know on our doors as soon as possible (yes! We can’t stop it but can most of the times run towards it if we wish…thank god for this option).

Three certainties in life:

*Tax

*Change

*Death

Few dynamics/variables:

* I

-> Value

-> Feelings

-> Looks

-> Hand writing

-> Thoughts

-> Parallelism

-> Perceptions

-> Hopes

-> Zest

-> Complexities

-> Assertions

->Confusions

* Seasons

* People

* Lifestyle

* Dreams

* Relations

* Rules

-> Self imposed rules

-> Rules n assumptions for supposed sustainable development

* Prayers

* Material/matter in this Universe

* You

* Morals

* Health

* Values associated to

-> People

-> Materials

-> Money

-> Love

-> Life

-> Morals

-> Food

-> Death

-> Age

-> Rules

-> Entertainment

-> Knowledge

* Hope

Time binds all of it. This fourth dimension circumscribes all of it except one, only few fortunate ones get to know this exception closely. Time defines all of it but what I see, what am interested in, what I want to draw or rather want to be drawn in a way that makes me feel I was actually living when I look back at it is (with much of involvement of none but me), what am gonna carry with me (material negated here), what I will be defined by is the graph of me vs. time.

Riding on,into and through civilizations

A new high tech train launched and yes it is reliable, provides great customer service, cost (we won’t care about cost if it serves the purpose), no maximum limit on the amount it would carry…….wondering amount???????? Read ahead………..
Bernard Baruch termed a state of conflict, tension and competition that already existed, which I think is apt, nothin else would have described it in a better way .Global warming definitely has increased the average measured temperature of our dynamic Earth but can it have any effect in the coldness that has kept generations frozen! World is too cold a place to live.We act as a very good medium of transport and also put maximum efforts to make sure our passion,love and coldness lasts long and get transmitted.
End of beautiful life due to coldness induces due to us far exceeds that induced due to weather

Queen ran and ran and ran..on the run gave up everything, finally found her King

She lost diadem,
And met only
first last and frozen
Coldness in his eyes

No country for old men…murdereds eyes…a dead inhuman walking around the city???????
Last closness that one feels before that final goodbye.
When toes tell u that’s its all over I’ve started freezing n so will u…

Not much time
make one last wish,
pass one last smile,
seize one last lovely sight.

One intellectual person goes into a thought of soul searching and all that and finally realises that he does need to get rid of the coldness that has haunted him since a real long time.This person with g8t difficutly stabs his own ego and even breaks one of the “I”or rather “Mine”sphere that all of us build around ourselves(which I think is inevitable and a must most of the times)Yes this person does go ahead to break it but its impossible to break it all when met with a tight fist. Instead it “might” increase coldness that already exists.
Train n wh y not rocket? This train travles at any speed u ask for and its for us earthly beings with down to earth(am not refering to proud quotient) emotions…just that tiny effort needed go ahead else board the train it’l take you through civilizations and is about to leave the station ; )

Coldness captured
In his last kiss,
In Manslayers eyes,
In deaths hold